Only

When passions, reasons and hormones dies down you are only left with nothing else yourself. You and your achievements, regrets, failures and lessons You with your growing age, responsibility, freedon and more responsibility. You with your numerous attempts to end it all and the hope, will and love that overpowers it. You with your badly beaten heart and stubborn amygdala. Two pieces of you that by now (should've) learned to heal and tame. You and your practical, intelligent and sometimes stupid brain. You've already fought a million struggles together and you know there are a million more to come. You and your jaded smile, worn out spirit and radical soul. These and only these are the things left for you to face this unforgiving reality.

========
Your fading away and so am I.

Reverie

Embrace the Irony

That it is in
the Pool of people
you are drowned with loneliness

That it is in
the thousand conversation
you are mute

That it is in
the raining happiness
you are stormed with despair

That it is in
blindness
you see the most

That it is in
the darkess moment
you are enlightened

That it is in
your arms I live
and die

------------------

Thank you for leaving me.

I am Barbie

Rebirth
You stab me with a rusty knife
That lay for two years there
But is cut a wound so deep
That i remember the nights i lay awake

Things are different now I'm so different

And live for today and if you kill me once again
I don't know if i can forgive you

Firewoman

I wanna be a firewoman
I'll water down your desire
Cause I know this love is a killer
I wanna put out your fire
Apology is futility
Now destiny is not a friend
Did you come for danger
You gave me love for pain
Now you're much more than a stranger
I wanna give you love
But all I have is rain
I'm gonna put it out

--------------------
This is the last time I'll let you hurt me. I hope.

The beauty of a dried flower

Maybe I've loved again. Just maybe I ave fallen again. I never thought it would happen again and I tried really hard to fight it off. I tried to forget, deny, curse and reject him but my subconscious embraces him. I never could have felt this way if he never gave me hope that he loves me back. That hope is the thing that is killing me. The vague intentions you have given me disrupts my senses. What are we really? What do you want want from me? Tough questions that demand simple answers. Answers that I definitely deserve and terribly needed. Answers that could save or break me right now. But it doesn't matter if I will be saved or broken. What matters more is that I'll be freed from chains of confusion and I will e drwn to vision the truth (even if it kills me).

I don't have 4 months cause my patience has long been drained. Next time it will be decided. I am sorry but this is the only chance I can have myself back.

If nothing happens... lets forget what we've passed through, lets forget our friendship, let us be acquaintances if not nonexistent beings. You can no longer hold on to me because I can no longer allow you to pull me down.

I may have loved you but I need myself back.



------------
*aiwa kanari itai.
*i'll definitely live after this.